In short, not only is the weather here in Fresno beginning to cool off (it IS mid-October, so thank you for finally declining into the low 90's...) but the plans for our life, our family, and our future have in short, changed. For those of you who don't really know know me and my story, please read my other blog when you have time (LOTS of time...and tissues are recommended for some)
HERE. After three losses within the last year and a half, one being third trimester loss and the others being early miscarriages at 5-6 weeks (which I refer to as false hope at times), my husband, Jeff and I decided to change the plans for our family. Adoption seemed like the perfect option for us. We had attended an orientation at the beginning of August at an agency we felt completely at home with, I had come to be perfectly fine and even looking forward to 'not trying' any more, and so we paid our application fee and looked forward to January 2013 when our Adoptive Parent classes would begin. Everything felt so right. I was getting so excited that I would not have to worry about another pregnancy, another loss, another time period of feeling like a failure. We began to save money for the adoption and I began to blog about the start of our adoption process
HERE.
Then, September rolls around. You know what was pretty neat about this past September? There was a Blue Moon. What else? I felt myself ovulate....ON the Blue Moon. I could tell that Jeff throughout the time of the adoption process still had some reservations, and though he reassured me more than once that he was just as excited as I was, I knew deep down that he really did want to try again for our own child. Reluctantly, as I felt the cramp on the right side of my pelvic area, I asked him to be honest with me if he would like to try again. We did have all the way until January before our adoption classes started, so I knew that if it did happen, which I highly doubted, we would be able to notify the agency in plenty of time. He became excited and said he would really like to try. So, we did. And boom. About six days later, I FELT the process of implantation. People think I am crazy, but I felt all of it. I knew that a week later, I should take a test. Boom, again, I was pregnant. A positive pregnancy test on September 22nd, right before my eyes and yet, I didn't believe it. Honestly, I didn't want to believe it. We had tried for so long before to get pregnant and I was still wanting this adoption so badly that I was slightly saddened I had gotten pregnant so quickly.
By the dates I measured based on my feelings and calculations I was a little over 4 weeks. I knew there was a lot that could happen between now and the first trimester, let alone birth, so I didn't allow myself to become excited. The symptoms were different than other pregnancies: nausea, soreness in my ta-tas, lower back pain...Of course, I thought this was all in my head. I scheduled my doctors appointment, understanding that this could be another glimmer of false hope, and attended the appointment along with Jeff at 5w2d. They gave me the typical run-down: first trimester blood work lab slip, "the blue folder" with all the information, warned me to get tested for cystic fibrosis if my insurance covered it, checked my cervix, yada yada yada. Then Dr. Dave brought out the big guns: the report from Dr. Helm (the perinatologist I saw during my pregnancy with Hayden and after for genetic counseling). He gave me the run downs of what to expect for this pregnancy to be as successful as possible, mind you, none of these measures were taken with previous pregnancies because I had begun spotting prior to my first appointment. He put me on Progesterone suppositories for the first trimester (which are a mess, but so thankful that Tri-Care covers them because they are reason I am still pregnant I believe), Lovenox injections throughout the pregnancy, and I get to see my doc lots of times along side of Dr.Helm. All of this gave me just a little more hope, but then I was told we wouldn't get to check for a heartbeat that day. I was so disappointed, but respected my doctor's decision because he wanted to wait to be sure I was far enough along to see something. So I went home and waited for my appointment....that was a LONG two weeks! My symptoms increased and boy oh boy was I nauseous.
I told my mom and my NaNa I was pregnant right before I was 6 weeks because I HAD to tell someone!! I bought each of them mini baby items like mini baby shampoo, mini baby lotion, travel size baby powder, small thing of wipes, and then gave them each a positive pregnancy test to open. They were so thrilled!! (Random Fact: YES. I am/was already wearing maternity pants simply for the purpose of COMFORT. Trust me, I am not delusional--I KNOW I am not "showing")
So, last Tuesday was my ultrasound appointment! My mom and Jeff were there and guess what?? My dates were RIGHT on. Baby was measuring only one day ahead of what I thought! We saw a strong heartbeat and our little booger moving around on the screen. It was so exciting!! Now to keep him/her in there!! I went to Walgreens and printed off copies of the ultrasound to give to my mom, my grandma, Jeff's dad, my dad and stepmom, etc. Some still don't know, but I will be revealing soon! Right now I am 8w5d and feeling pretty good. Still pretty nauseous in the mornings and am pretty sensitive to what I eat, pretty tired in the evenings, but other than that, feeling pretty good! I go back to the doctor for another check up on October 29th. I just love Dr. Dave. He let me choose if I wanted to wait 4 weeks or just come back in 2 for peace of mind....of course I said TWO!! I am just praying so hard this baby makes it home. I am beginning to be more attached and know I will become more and more as the days go by. I will be posting pictures of my belly, ultrasounds, etc as soon as I get them onto my computer. Until next time, I am just hoping this Rainbow decides to stick around....Rainbows always come after rain, so hopefully there won't be anymore rain in our future!
xoxo
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